Almost Two Months of Motherhood

I have been a mom for almost two months now, and it still feels surreal to say that out loud. Time moves differently in this season. Some days feel impossibly long, while the weeks themselves disappear before I can fully process them. Motherhood does not arrive gently. It comes all at once and reshapes everything. And despite how hard it can be, I love being her mommy more than I ever knew was possible.

The exhaustion is constant and layered. Sleep is broken and unpredictable, and even when Willa does sleep, part of me stays alert. My body never fully powers down. Nights blur into mornings, and rest feels like something I remember rather than experience. Still, even in the tiredness, there is something deeply meaningful about being the one she needs. Being the one who soothes her. I love that I am her safe place.

Most days revolve entirely around her needs. Feeding her. Holding her. Making sure she is warm, comfortable, and settled. In the middle of that, I often forget myself. I look at the clock and realize it is late afternoon and I have not eaten. Showering has become something I celebrate instead of expect. These moments can feel overwhelming, but they also remind me how fully I have stepped into loving her. I would choose her needs every time.

Healing from a C section has added another layer to this season. My body is recovering, but it is not just physical. It is learning patience in a body that moves slower than it used to. It is accepting help when I would rather do everything myself. It is trusting that healing is happening even when it feels slow. Through it all, I am learning to respect my body for what it has done. It brought her into this world, and I am proud of it.

Postpartum emotions have been deeper and more complex than I expected. There is so much love, but there is also vulnerability. Hormones are loud. Feelings come quickly and sometimes without warning. There are moments of joy so intense they take my breath away, followed by moments where I feel overwhelmed or unsure of myself. Loving motherhood does not mean every moment is easy, but it does mean every moment matters. And even on the hard days, I still love being her mom.

Willa is changing quickly. She is no longer in the sleepy newborn stage. She is more aware, more present, and much more attached. She wants to be close, to be held, to feel my heartbeat. Putting her down rarely lasts long, and getting things done feels nearly impossible some days. But when she curls into me, when she settles simply because I am holding her, I know exactly where I am meant to be.

One of the most beautiful moments lately has been watching her track my voice with her eyes. When I speak, she searches for me. She looks for my face. I truly believe she is starting to recognize me as her mama. That connection feels sacred. In those moments, the exhaustion fades into the background, and my heart feels fuller than it ever has.

I am staying home full time with her, and while it can feel isolating at times, it is also a gift I do not take lightly. My world has become smaller and quieter, but it is filled with purpose. I may not be productive in the ways I once was, but I am present. And being present with her is something I cherish deeply.

This week, I am starting back at the gym, and I have mixed emotions. I am excited to move my body again and reconnect with something that used to make me feel strong. I am also nervous. I do not feel like myself yet. My body looks different. My confidence feels fragile. I am learning to be patient as I find comfort in my skin again, knowing this version of me is still worthy.

Motherhood has changed me in ways I am still discovering. It has softened me, stretched me, and asked more of me than anything ever has. And yet, I love being a mommy. I love her cries, her quiet moments, her growing awareness. I love this life, even when it is messy and exhausting.

Almost two months in, I am tired. I am healing. I am learning. And I am deeply in love with my daughter and the role I get to play in her life.

Being her mama is the greatest thing I have ever been.